P. 9

more to make up for the past, and never to think I have served
            God enough.
                  I did this Meditation in Church, on my knees, for about
            an hour. I think I had few distractions. My pride had the worse
            of  it  when  I  realized  there  were  so  many  sins  in  myself.

            However, I ended the Meditation with an act of trust in Jesus
            Christ, who bears my sins on his own shoulders, and with his
            Blood adorns my soul.

                  THIRD MEDITATION. On Death. And so, I have to die, that
            is sure. As to when, God alone knows. I have therefore to be
            always well-prepared for it. Sin is what makes death so bitter;
            for a just man death is not a death but the beginning of real
            eternal life. And so, if I could die a saintly death, how happy
            would my death be! ...
            I then considered that death is the only thing that matters more
            than anything else, because on it depends either my eternal
            happiness  or  my  eternal  damnation,  which  means  that  it  is
            very  important  that  I  spend  well  the  moment  of  death.  I

            reflected on the total stripping of everything that death does; at
            that  moment  fame  and  glory,  high  positions,  wealth  and
            pastimes,  etc.  are  of  no  use;  what  I  will  value  are  my  good
            deeds, which will accompany me even in eternal life.
            As I asked myself what would cause me the greatest anguish
            if I had to die just now, I understood that my pride, self-love
            and lack of right intention in my actions would be for me the
            most serious cause of distress.

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