P. 12

him everything of my own accord. However, I decided I would
               do  better  not  to  keep  anything  from  him.  As  my  pride  may
               penetrate even here, I resolved to tell him whatever there is to
               say, and tell him also whether I felt like mentioning it or not. I
               will do the same in asking permission for acts of penance. And
               so  I  pray  my Director  to put  a  Yes  or No mark according  to
               what God will inspire him...

                            PRAISED BE THE MOST BLESSED TRINITY
                                   AND MARY MOST HOLY

                                  Monday, 22 September

                     FIRST  MEDITATION.  On  Hell.  How  terribly  scared  I  have
               been to dwell in spirit just for an hour in Hell! How would it be
               then if I had to stay in it for all eternity!... There, in the midst of
               so  many  torments  of  every  sort,  never-ending,  without  the
               slightest relief. How horrible it must be to hear all the time so
               much blasphemous swearing against God, Mary, Angels and

               Saints, and I myself to be forced to swear and curse Jesus my
               Beloved  whom  I  now  acknowledge  worthy  of  infinite  love,  of
               infinite  praise!  How  dreadful  to  find  myself  close  to  frightful
               souls  with  their  loads  of  sins  and  floating  in  filth!  And  the
               greatest pain of all, the thought of being unable any more to
               love God and instead of having to hate him for ever and ever!

                                          - 33 -
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