P. 11

facing Christ as my Judge. What will become of me if for the
            first  time  I  see  him  indignant!  My  God,  how  severe  will  that
            scrutiny be! ... After uncovering so many sins I had not even
            kept in mind, God will examine the good I have done and will
            find  so  many  failings  even  in  that!  Vain,  proud,  unruly
            thoughts;  little  or  no  fervour,  negligence,  self-love,  etc.  etc.
            What shall I say then? Of what use will it be, what good will it
            do me  then,  if   people  now  think  I  am  virtuous?  If  God  who
            sees  through  my  actions  into  the  depths  of  my  heart,
            disapproves of them? ...

                  Resolutions:  To  be  more  diligent  in  examining  my
            conscience,  in  order  to  come  to  know  my  faults  and  make
            amends for them; to do solely for God’s sake all the little good
            that I will do, lest it should be rejected on that day.

                  I sat down for this Meditation, which took me about half-
            an-hour.  I  had  very  few  distractions  and  experienced  great
            dread of God’s judgement. I ended it with a desire and a will to
            make sure I have a right intention in all my actions by doing
            everything for God’s sake alone.
                  In my Holy Communion this morning I asked the Lord to
            let me know if he wishes me to reveal everything, be it good or

            bad,  to  my  Spiritual  Director.  Regarding  my  inner  wounds  I
            had the inspiration to tell him of all of them. I realized that in
            the past my self-love deceived me at times, keeping my own
            wounds out of sight.
            With regard to the good actions I could not make out if I had
            simply to answer any questions he puts to me or if I had to tell

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