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prayer  and  charity,  which  Our  Lord  insistently  makes  me
               understand  that  he  requires  of  me.  In  St  Gertrude  I  found  a
               model for myself, if  the Lord grants me the grace to imitate

                                   FOURTH MEDITATION

                           On the bodily pains of Hell (continued)

                     In  this  Meditation  I  understood  how  severely  God
               punishes all the senses in hell. However, what frightened me
               most, and what wounded my heart most of all was the thought
               that if I ended up in hell I would be forced to curse, blaspheme
               and hate God. The beloved Jesus who, I know, is worthy of
               love,  that  Name  that  brings  comfort  to  my  heart,  that  Name
               that brings hope, that Name in whom lies all my exultant joy, I
               would have to curse it! ... That would be the saddest thing of
               all. In this Meditation I felt pity for those souls who never think
               of hell, and yet will end up in it because of their sins. I also
               understood  my  own  stupidity  that  makes  me  do  so  little  to
               avoid hell.

                     Resolutions: To let my pride be crushed underfoot by
               all, since it could lead to my damnation; I should also guard
               against any lack of fervour, because my damnation could start
               from there.

                     I did this Meditation in church, on my knees, for about ¾
               of an hour. I had very few distractions; I was moved by a few

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