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and in eternity, as He pleases. In so doing, the soul stores
nothing for her own comfort. In fact, the one-and-only comfort
of the soul must consist in dying to self, denying her own will in
order to carry out God’s will, perfectly. Nor should we think that
dying to self means having gloomy thoughts all the time. As a
matter of fact I can affirm that it consists in enjoying Heaven’s
bliss in anticipation, and if my word for it is not enough, let a
Sister who practises mortification come here, and speak on
her own experience. I am amazed when I look at your face,
which seems to be the very picture of death. Tell me, then,
Sister, how do you feel, and what do you do, with that look of
melancholy and sad demeanour? - What do you mean? I am
not sad at all! - But how can that be? You are so taciturn, you
deny yourself even the tiniest comfort, you never speak up in
your own defence, you never satisfy even the most natural
curiosity, always ready to do whatever you are told, most
prompt in regular observance, the first to lend a hand in hard

work.
Sister dear, you are not made of bronze nor of iron, that you
should never give in an inch. If you don’t relax a bit, I can see
it clear on your face that death is near; it is something that
breaks my heart. I assure you once more, and tell you quite
frankly, I don’t know what melancholy is. Oh! If you knew what
inner peace my soul enjoys, you wouldn’t talk like that! You
may be thinking that true joy means talking and having fun.
My God! If you really think so, you are very much mistaken,
because true joy consists in being faithful to God and denying
ourselves till death.

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