Page 12 - APPENDIX

But such a marvellous grace is granted by God as a result of
sustained prayer, profound fidelity to God and living as much
as possible aware of His presence. By such means I have
obtained from the Lord the grace of inner quiet, in which I find
my God, and thus all virtuous practices become sweet and
pleasant to me. You must know, then, that the quiet repose I
have in God from the moment I wake up till I retire to rest, is
derived from the three deaths that I have dealt to my soul: I
mean to say, to all that is Visible, Sensible and Spiritual, and
so I am all the time, moment by moment, attentive to my God,
and to what he wants from me, and it is almost impossible for
me to do otherwise.
By God’s grace I am always ready to obey him faithfully, and
with his assistance I will do so till I die. I know that some
people do not like my silence, because it cuts me off from that
sociability which in the community is very necessary and
pleasing; but I must simply have patience because I must and
want to please God, provided Holy Obedience does not
require something different from me. In that case I will hold
myself duty bound to leave God for God’s sake, yet always
acting in God. For the rest, I would never stray from my life-
pattern. Don’t be surprised, therefore, Sister dear, at my
reservedness, since the cause for it is God, in whom I find my
delight.
And why should I mind that I be forsaken and disliked by
everybody? Or that my body should succumb to the rigour of a
mortified life? What matters to me is that God is pleased;
everything else does not worry me at all.

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