Page 12 - notes

Tuesday 25

Seeing that some girls like me very much, I imagined
that they do so because they and I with them think I am gentle.
I prayed to the Lord to let me suffer but ... but I am unable to
bear anything. I was not displeased at a little praise given me.
Besides, I must confess that every time I read the life of saints
and about their virtues, there always comes the thought that I
am equally virtuous: so too when I read about the opinion
others had of their saintly life, it seems to me that others have
the same idea of me, too, to such an extent that even these
two days that I did not receive Holy Communion, I have
imagined that others will think it is because of some holy
purpose such as an act of mortification, a very delicate
conscience, etc. Even the concern that my Confessor has for
my soul, I attribute to some merit of mine.

Wednesday 26

When I arrived late for the sermon and was almost
reproached by another person, I brought at once a lame
excuse. I was gratified to hear two persons speak highly of
me. As they told me that they had been talking about me, I
presumed they had spoken well of me. I imagined that if
someone were to write my life they would mention that I was
patient. 4.

- 245 -