P. 12


                                    On my sins

                  In the first point I reflected on my youth. How many sins,
            even  before  I  came  to  know  God!  Sins  of  disobedience,
            obstinacy, vanity, but more especially against holy purity. My
            God, how gladly I would wash away such ugly stains  with my
            blood! ...

                  As I recalled these sins I was moved to tears, and God
            made me feel it very keenly, though not so much as I deserve.
            My youth could have been so pleasing to God and instead I
            placed it in the devil’s hands! … At this point I realized what a
            good thing it is to protect the innocence of little girls and keep
            them away from those dangers they know nothing of but which
            are fatal, and over which they will shed tears of sorrow for the

            rest of their life. In doing that, I can in some measure render to
            God what I have deprived myself of.

                  In the second point I have considered the circumstances
            in which I have sinned, because I sinned knowingly, in spite of

            1    Refer to observation made on similar expressions in a note on Meditation 2
            of Day 6 of Spiritual Exercises 1826.  Note also what Bartolomea herself asserts
            here: that she had committed these ‘sins’ - even before I came to know God.

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