P. 14

I sat down for this Meditation; I had few distractions, but
            I was not particularly moved by it. For a part of it, I felt drowsy.
            It took me about an hour.

                  Resolutions:  To  have  a  great  devotion  towards  the
            Sacred Heart of Jesus, and to make it consist in the imitation

            of his virtues, especially of humility, charity and gentleness.
                  Holy Communion time was spent in the same way as in
            the  Meditation:  with  few  distractions  but  not  deeply  moved,
            and I still felt drowsy.
            However, Jesus seemed to be prompting the thought that with
            regard to my vocation I should never set my mind at rest but
            have the holy concern that the planned Institute be realized by
            others, but that I should do everything with much tranquillity of
            heart,  with  acceptance  of  God’s  will  and  readiness  to  wait
            even a hundred years if that is God’s pleasure, and be equally
            happy if God did not will it to succeed or else that I should take
            no part in it.

                  The spiritual reading was on the different states of those
            who  want  to  attain  perfection.  I  am  only  among  beginners
            though at  times my  pride  made me place myself among  the
            perfect ones.

                  General Examination of conscience. I examined myself
            on my distractions and on how lacking in fervour my prayer is,
            many  times.  I  realized  that  the  main  causes  of  such  defects
            are  truly  self-love,  pride,  useless  thoughts  I  often  indulge  in,
            curiosity  and  lack  of  vigilance  on  myself.  My  Jesus,  have
            mercy on me.

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