P. 11

therefore reminded myself of my obligation to keep my heart
               detached from all created things, and that I should be happy
               with  all  that  God  allows  for  my  greater  good.  3   I  have
               examined  myself  on  what  causes  me  to  be  low-spirited,
               anxious,  restless  etc.,  and  I  have  realized  it  is  because  my
               heart  is  attached  to myself,  to  what  I  am interested  in,  or  to
               persons, and that though I say over and over again that I am
               totally  God’s  own  possession,  yet  I  am  keeping  the  best
               portion for myself, since I cling to love of self.
                     I  did  this  Meditation  on  my  knees,  for  an  hour.  I  had
               various distractions; I ended it with the desire to give myself
               wholly, unreservedly to God.
                     Resolutions:  In  my  actions  not  to  seek  my  own
               satisfaction or the appreciation of persons, but only God’s will
               and pleasure.
                     The  spiritual  reading  was  done  on  the  cardinal  and
               moral virtues: that these are simply means for the attainment

               of  genuine  perfection,  which  consists  in  love  of  God  and
                     General Examination of conscience. I examined myself
               on self-love and pride. I have found out that in practically all I
               do, self-love creeps in. Many times I am unaware of it, other
               times  I  try  to  cover  it  up.  Pride  has  always  been  my
               predominating passion; I am pleased when I am praised, sorry
               when  others  are  more  highly  regarded  than  myself;  I  rate
               myself very highly, thinking I am exceptionally good and kind,
               and feel jealous of those I consider better or more dearly loved
               than myself, etc.

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