P. 18

about me? Shall I be among the elect or among the damned?
               ... It is true that I do a good deed now and then, that I receive
               the  Sacraments  and  profess  a  devout  way-of-life.  But  am  I
               doing what God expects from me? ... Am I quite honest in all
               my  dealings?  ...  Do  I  carry  out  all  my  duties  carefully,
               steadfastly, perfectly well? ... Ah! To think that a few sins, even
               just one, can make me end up  among the damned, for ever
               lost! I then started wondering how it is that so many Christians
               who  have  the  Faith,  and  believe  in  hell,  are  lost!  I  have
               understood, it seems to me, that this happens because  they
               hardly think of death, judgment, hell and heaven, and because
               being  so  inclined  to  evil  and  unable  to  see  things  that  are
               invisible, men easily forget what is eternal and so most of them
               are lost.

                     Resolutions:  never  to  mind  what  worldly  people  say
               and do, but to be always mindful of the examples set by Saints
               and strive to imitate them.
                     I did this Meditation in church, partly seated and partly
               on my knees; it lasted about half-an-hour, not more than that,
               because  I  was  not  feeling  well.  I  had  a  few  distractions.
               Certain things fairly impressed me.
                     Due to the physical pain I had I could not stay for a visit
               to  Jesus  in  the  Blessed  Sacrament,  but  recited  some  vocal
               prayers in bed.

                     Second Examination on today’s defects. I had a thought
               of pride; it was this: it occurred to me that on reading this script
               my  Confessor might  suppose  that  I  had beautiful  sentiments

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